


Tell Me You Love Me

by ALPHAwolf



Series: The Love Life of Demons' [3]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Cutting, Depression, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 07:19:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7748380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALPHAwolf/pseuds/ALPHAwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When all Grell's insecurities finally push him over the edge, trust William to bring the scarlet loving nutcase back to his senses.</p><p>(edited 3/18)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> All the usual disclaimers :) Enjoy!

Liquid crimson slipped down his arm, seeping through deep slashes and dripping down onto the red carpet. Each cut seemed to slice threw an old one, some seconds, days, weeks, months, years, and even decades old.

It was amazing. To think the most beautiful colour was flowing through his veins like liquid mercury. It was a comfort, an obsession, a release.

Grell sat bare on his knees inspecting the beautiful cuts, tears dripping from his eyes. Not from the pain. Never from the pain.

Happy with his work, arms stinging like fire, he stood and walked to the en suite bathroom, planning to sit in the stained bath and watch red gather around him till he passed out. If he was lucky he might even drown in his own blood. That had always been the way he wanted to die, suffocating as crimson flooded his lungs. If only Shinigami's could drown.

Passing the mirror he stopped to observe himself. Blood had dripped onto most his body, which was why he always stripped beforehand. No use in ruining good clothes after all, at least that was what he always thought before he started, but then he'd see himself and the truth of his autonomy would only make everything worse.

He wore no makeup, no fake lashes or lip gloss. He only dressed so for outward appearance, when it wasn't just him. He was a woman on the inside after all, it seemed God had forgotten that while putting his body together.

His beautiful red hair draped past his hips like the blood running down his arms onto the tiles. He loved his hair, usually, but right now it just seemed like a bother. It wasn't like anyone saw him as a woman anyway. What was the point of trying when nobody even cared!?

Grell let out a sob, sinking to his knees. It wasn't his fault he had the body of a man. Even his name was that of a male, though he had grown to accept it over the decades (Lady Grell had a nice ring to it). Hair covered his weeping eyes, annoying his noise and sticking to his lashes. The redhead growled and threw it all back before grabbing the blood-stained knife laying nearby on the floor.

Lock after lock fell to the ground, pooling around him like an ocean of red as he hacked at his head. The tears never stopped as he destroyed the one thing he loved most about himself, too tired to cope with the hassle another second. Being a woman was too hard for his body to cope with. The makeup, the underwear, the corsets, the heels. He was just too tired. Too depressed. None of it mattered anymore.

Abandoning his plan for the bath he stood on weak legs and stumbled back into his room, vision blacking out every few seconds. Knife still in hand he emptied his closet and draws of every item he owned. Every beautiful red dress, skirt, corset, and blouse. All were slashed to shreds, a pile of destroyed, ripped and stabbed clothes gathering in the centre of the room.

Red dress. Red dress. Red stockings. Red lace corset. Red skirt. Red blouse. Blue dress (eww, how'd that get in there?). It was all destroyed, his makeup and vanity items also thrown on to the pile snapped, broken, and mangled.

He stood back and observed his work. All that he adored, all that he was. Destroyed. By him. He smiled dejected, a look of one who had lost all hope, left with nothing but an empty shell of self-hatred.

His legs failed him as his vision faded out, and he was left alone unconscious to bleed out on the crimson carpet.

 

§

 

Grell’s alarm woke him, his vibrant green eyes slipping open as he lay with his cheek to the ground. Thankfully he had soft, thick carpet, even if there were gashes from his chainsaw in some places. In fact everything in his room had some sort of chainsaw mark on it from when he's either lost his temper or been extremely hyper. Unfortunately, William had confiscated his death scythe, again.

His head was clearer than the day before, hormones calmer, making him feel less rash. The dried blood on his body felt uncomfortable and sticky though, as it always did when he woke.

Grell groaned and pushed himself up off the floor, switching off the buzzing bedside clock and making a mental note to burn the pile of clothes so he didn't feel so depressed that he'd ripped them all up. Maybe if he filled the tub with acid then put them in? Then when he was done he could get in too. He hadn't tried that one yet.

The red-head stumbled into the bathroom and stepped into the shower, hands rubbing his hair. It was strangely nice, the weightless feeling of short hair. It made him shiver. At least now, even if he didn't have a man's locks to run his fingers through, he could pretend.

The clear cold water (he didn't care for temperature, who'd care of he became sick anyway?) washed away the browning blood with some light rubbing. Still, he scrubbed far harder than needed out of habit, as if trying the peel the layer of male flesh away and reveal the woman beneath. 

Grell sighed, head back as the water ran over him. He'd be late for work again, even if he didn't bother to waste time and make himself look gorgeous. He just couldn't be bothered today, plus, attempting to salvage something from the heap of ruined possessions would probably only serve to make him feel like an even worse pile of shit. Perhaps he wouldn't go to work at all today? No one would care, Grell thought, smiling hopelessly. If he didn't go it would be easier for everyone, especially William, who seemed to spend all his time telling him off. It didn't matter if his supervisor  came and beat the crap out of him for skipping. He didn’t care if he was hurt, because he didn't matter. He'd tried, and it only made people hate him more. Even the two men he'd fallen in love with were both disgusted by him, found him a bother and thoughtlessly abused him, so what was the point?

Grell sighed and finished washing his body, not caring that the soap stung the wounds covering every inch of skin he could reach. 

Once he was dry, many of his cuts bleeding once again (not that it mattered since his towels were all red), he slipped on a pair of plain boxers (one of the few items of underwear he had left). A loose, black long-sleeve followed before he slipped under the ebony and cherry covers of his bed, surrounded by his beloved rag dolls.

He made one off each person he knew. Most had been torn apart and put back together multiple times. He grabbed for one randomly, which just do happened to be his miniature Undertaker, and held it close. He couldn't sleep without holding something, or knocking himself out. It gave the illusion that he wasn't alone, that it wasn't true no one loved him.

Love. The most beautiful word, and more often then not associated with the colour red, as everything beautiful was. Passion, anger, hate, Sebastian's eyes. Blood.

His eyes drifted shut, for lack of anything to do but sleep.

Depression and blood loss made him sleepy anyway.

 

§

 

His sins haunted him. Bodies hung on hooks all around him, each of the humans he'd killed hanging like pigs in a slaughterhouse. The bodies twitched and moaned, before ripping themselves off and lunging at him, clawing and biting at his flesh as he tried to scream.

There was no escape from these night terrors, he could only endure the hell. A hell void of love and red. His punishment. His God given torment.

The body's dripped black blood, his hair a horrid brown. This was a place without beauty, and he was the most hideous thing there. 

Sometimes he dreamed that he finally became woman, only to have the prostitutes of the Jack the Ripper murders rip it away from him with their bare hands, like he and the lovely Madame had done to them. There were times she returned to hold him as he lay with his pelvis wide open, the beautiful and kind Madame Red, before she killed him like he had her, her beautiful crimson lips and hair turning colourless till she was grey as stone, walking away from him, leaving him in a mess of his own black blood.

As usual the minute he woke he grabbed for the knife on his bedside and slit straight down his arm, making sure the blood still had it’s wonderful hue. On occasions he would dream of waking up, cutting, and black blood would bubble from his wound like hot tar. Then he would scream till he really woke up.

Grell sighed in relief as red flowed out, leaning back against the wood headboard and gathering a pile of dolls in his arms so he could shove his face into them. They smelt faintly of burnt incense.

A knock on the bedroom disturbed the redhead of his peace a few moments later, and he rose his head ever so slightly in surprise.

"Grell-san?" Ronald's voice came from the other side of the wood. Grell almost smiled. No doubt his co-worker had broken into the building.

"M not decent." Grell said softly, hoping he'd be heard.

"Grell-san, are you okay?" He didn't bother to reply. "William-san says if you don't come to work he'll drag you there by your hair, but if you do he'll give you your scythe back!" Ronald sounded confident and happy at the announcement. Grell could almost scoff. Happiness, what a fleeting emotion.

The redhead attempted to fumble out of bed, walking toward the door on shakey legs so that he could speak with Ronald through the door, rather than yell. The other would be better off just leaving and getting back to work before he fell behind and got himself into trouble with Will as well. The door was broken down before he could tell the other so, the blond standing triumphantly atop his lawn-mower.

The moment he saw Grell standing before him, barely managing to remain upright with his knees turned in, dried blood streaked down his legs, his hair hacked short, no makeup, and without his glasses, Ronald panicked.

"G-Grell-san!!! Are you okay! What happened! Was it that horrid demon you keep seeing?! I'll call William-san!" He turned to run and fetch William, but Grell grabbed his arm and held him back.

"No. No it's fine. Leave darling Will out of this." He said quietly. Ronald's eyes widened as Grell's unfamiliar voice whispered out. Unlike his usual high vox it was soft and an octave or two lower, no longer forced to it's breaking pitch. He had a far nicer voice than Ronald had ever realized, if this was indeed Grell. "You just get back to work alright?"

"...But, William-san-"

"I'll deal with Will." The blond seemed to consider this a moment, looking at the other unsure. "Alright... Well," He looked to the broken down door and then to Grell. "Do you need anything?"

The redhead pondered this a moment.

"You got a lighter?" He asked gently, voice like silk. Ronald nodded, still a little shocked as he held the little black device out with uncertainty to his superior. Grell took it and smiled appreciatively.

"Thank you." He lit the flame and turned, sinking to his knees and grabbing one of the skirts from the pile of clothes. He lit the edge, watching it catch fire before throwing it back onto the heap. Ronald jumped backwards as the cloth suddenly burst into flames. "You can go now Ronald."

"B-but Grell-san! The fire!" He grabbed Grell's arm and attempted to yank him away, but the Shinigami's thin wrist slid right out of his grip as the redhead resisted him.

The fire had caught to the carpet now, and the bed. Everything was burning red, the flames even stronger in heat and crimson then the infamous Phantomhive butler's eyes. Grell smiled softly, watching the warmth lick at his every possesion as he breathed in the black smoke around him. This wasn't a bad way to end it all.

He coughed and blinked, his vision tilted. Grell's chest burned, and suddenly the immortal found himself extremely dizzy, up becoming down before it all went dark.

Ronald watched with his nose and mouth covered by his arm as Grell collapsed onto his side from the fumes, taking the chance to grab the redhead and start running like mad as fire began spreading throughout the building. Grell's neighbours were not going to be happy, if they lived.

He exited the building in a sprint and put the redhead down a distance away on an empty grassed space catching his breath. Grell made no movement, black soot on his cheek. Now, Ronald had already been well aware his superior was insane, they all were at least a little after all, but this was a whole other level. He wasn't even sure it was actually Grell! It couldn't be... It didn't look like him, it didn't sound like him, but he'd known Ronald's name... Perhaps Grell had a brother? The blond was at a loss, pondering the unusual situation as the unconscious body lay still in nothing but a pair of tight black boxers and a loose long-sleeve.

He clicked his fingers after a minute of thinking. William-san would know what to do!

He removed his jacket and covered up the bodies exposed legs before picking him up again and running through the backstreets till he found the appropriate portal to Shinigami HQ. William would be in his office, so Ronald just needed to get there without stopping to answer any questions about why he was carrying a dead looking redhead. At least no one was likely to think it was actually Grell in his current state.

The amount of stares he received from co-workers as he ran through the building, yelling multiple apologies to those he bumped on his way, was even more than the number of women’s heads he could get to turn when he walked down a street in the human world.

Finally he arrived at William's office and smashed the door open with his foot, his hands full. The man didn't even look up.

"Ronald Knox, this behaviour is hig-"

"Emergency!" He rushed over and put Grell straight down on top of William's desk, over the piles of paperwork he was busily filling out.

William's eyes widened, which for him was a pretty big reaction. He never lost composure. Well, that wasn't completely true, he lost composure pretty much every time Grell was involved.

"Sutcliffe." At least he recognized him. Suddenly his boss stood, slamming his hand down on the table, making Ronald jump. "Get a first aid kit and water!"

"Y-yes!" The blond ran straight back out the room to fetch the items like a headless chicken, unsure if they even possesed a first aid box anywhere in the building. They were immortals, after all.

Meanwhile the dark-haired Shinigami carefully picked Grell up from his desktop and sat him down on his chair, kneeling in front of the unconscious reaper.

"Suitcliff." He slapped him softly, trying to wake the redhead, but Grell's eyes didn't even flutter. He leaned in closer, putting his head to the other's chest. His heart was still beating softly, and he was breathing shallowly. Even his skin was cold, like the dead, as if he‘d taken an ice shower.

William muttered profanities and insults at the unconscious body as he wrapped his own jacket around him and put Ronald's back on the other's bare legs, as it had fallen on the floor. Grell's exposed skin was a painful red, covered in open cuts and burnt at the knees. He grabbed a packet of wet wipes from the drawer and cleaned the black off the redhead's face and exposed skin, before trying to wake him again.

"Suitcliff.” He hissed through clenched teeth and slapped him again, without a response. "SUITCLIFF!" The next hard and sharp slap caused the red lashed Shinigami's eyes to flutter, before he finally peeked an eye open. He smiled faintly. The grin was empty, his green eyes almost dead looking, like one of Undertaker’s walking corpses.

"Hello darling." Grell's voice was only a whisper, sore a parched. William didn't cringe, but he wanted to.

"Suitcliff, what happened?" He asked firmly, almost accusingly. Grell laughed softly and coughed.

"Oh nothing, just a little fire."

"And the blood and cuts?" Grell only smiled, as if he pitied him. William growled and stood, towering over him. "You ignored your duties as a reaper to go play hooky with that bloody demon again!" He spat angrily, making Grell wince.

"Too loud Will, I haven't seen Sebas-chan for a week." William narrowed his eyes and stared at Grell doubtfully. As usual the other didn't bat an eye at his nerve-wracking look, even though out of everyone he was really the one who should have feared him the most.

"Then what happened, yo-"

"I found a first aid kit and water! Ah! Grell-san! You're awake! Are you okay!?" Grell only nodded, smiling softly. It wasn't anything like the sharp toothy cheshire grin he usually flashed to them. By now it was almost unnerving to see anything different.

"Knox, where did you find Sutcliff?" William commanded, making Ronald stutter.

"I, er, went to his place to pick him up and he was covered in blood and cuts, then he set his clothes on fire and kinda just sat there till he blacked out and I brought him here." Ronald took a deep breath after his rushed sentence, looking relived to have gotten it all out.

William's eye twitched.

"Leave, Knox." Ronald hesitated before nodding, putting the kit and cup of water on his supervisor's desk before leaving hurriedly, shutting the door behind him.

Grell braced himself to be yelled at, abused and beaten, but William remained dangerously silent as he retrieved a few of the required medical supplies from the box. The Shinigami took a clean rag from one of the drawers too and wet it in the cup, before suddenly ripping Ronald’s jacket straight off his legs. Grell made a surprised squeak as he did, watching wide eyed at the other put it aside on the table and kneeled down in front of him. He then proceeded to clean one of the many bleeding cuts on Grell's leg.

The red haired stared in shock. Will was... actually being gentle with him for once. Was he dreaming?

"Can you even see me as you stare at me?" The man asked from below him. "There are spare glasses in there." He gestured to one of the many draws.

It was the nicest he had ever spoken to him.

Grell carefully opened the drawer and took out the plain black Shinigami glasses, and the moment he put them on his vision un-blurred to perfection. His sight actually wasn't that bad compared to some, like William who was practically blind, but Shinigami glasses were a necessary part of being a Death god. The only one who could break that rule was the legendary Undertaker, but he was an exception on many levels.

Grell winced as the other ran the cloth over an especially deep wound and William's hand retreated.

"My apologies."

Okaaay, now Grell was realy concerned.

William held the inside of his thigh in one hand gently while he cleaned his right leg carefully, his hand straying rather close to Grell's crotch. Now, the redhead wasn't one to complain usually, but-

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY DARLING WILL!?" He screeched, moving as far back into the chair as he could. After yelling he groaned, his throat sore and his head dizzy.

"It's me you idiot, don't hurt yourself more." William growled, yanking one of his legs back down from up on the chair.

"Like you care! If I hadn't done it you would have!" The taller man went silent a moment, returning to cleaning his wounds.

"So you did all these then." He stated rather than asked. Grell didn't respond, looking away.

William took the bandages off the table in silence, lifting Grell’s leg over his shoulder and placing his hand on the other's lower thigh to hold the dressing in place before he began winding it around.

"Y-you don't need to do that." Grell stuttered, his cheeks warm as he kept himself steady with the chairs hand-rests. William's head was right near his crotch. Now would be absolute the worst time to get a boner.

William ignored his comment and instead frowned at the wounds.

"Many of these will require stitches." Grell only looked away as William spoke gently, doing his best to avoid any sensual thoughts about his long-term crush/love/boss thing.

Both his legs were wrapped with bandage over the larger open injuries and his burns covered in gauze. Once it was done William stood and looked down at the other.

"Where else have you marred yourself?" He asked seriously.

Grell huffed a laugh.

"If you cleaned those I'd have to strip." Like that would ever ha-

"Strip." Grell's mouth hung open, but William looked stoic as ever. When the redhead didn't move to obey William made to pull the black shirt off himself.

"W-wait!" He attempted to pry Williams hands off. He wasn't ready for things that involved nudity in such a state! William would have to wait till later for that, besides he'd already given the bastard several-hundred chances! Why choose now when he wasn't even offering?! It better not have been pity, though Grell would still take it later even if it was. Beggars can’t be choosy after all.

William glared at him and repeated his command firmly.

"Strip." Grell blushed and eventually nodded, slowly peeling his long-sleeve off as William went back into the first-aid box.

When William turned back around he dropped the new bandages he held.

Grell huddled in to himself, feeling exposed and trying to keep some modesty (yes, he had decided to wait for William in his office practically naked once or fifteen times before, but those times he wore panties and a bra at least!).

"MY GOD GRELL!!! I swear you’re a bloody idiot! You’re going to end up killing yourself! Even Shinigami's aren't immortal to the extent your pushing yourself! What the _hell_ are you even trying to gain!? Cause if it's pain you just need to come to work and I'll beat you all you like!" William wasn't being completely serious about the last part of course, but it didn't really matter because the other had gone into complete shock when he'd actually been addressed by his first name. Will hadn't done than in decades, the redhead had always believed it was because he hated the name.

William pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, muttering more vulgar curses.

"What in the Shinigami realm are you doing, Suitcliff?" He asked exasperatedly.

"Does it matter?" Grell barely whispered, not expecting an answer.

"Of course it matters you self-mutilating idiot!" He replied through clenched teeth. Grell glowered back.

"Just because I hurt myself doesn't make me an idiot."

"It would for anyone else."

"Well I'm not anyone else! You try being a woman born in to a man's body! You try living with hormonal highs all the time and not being able to control your emotions! I'm not stupid I'm sick of this!" Grell screeched, not caring if he lost his voice at the end of all this. "So what if I die!? It's not like you care!" The redhead stood and grabbed his shirt, going to re-dress himself.

"Of course I care! What do you mean you want to die?! You've already done that! Sit down!" William pushed him back down into the seat and ripped the shirt out of his hold. Grell started back defiantly as it fell to the floor, despite the tears glistening in his eyes. A droplet managed to slip out from the corner and like that he gave up, leaning into William's chest and breaking down.

Grell's body shook as he sobbed uncontrollably, gripping the front of his supervisor's suit tightly. To his surprise William didn't yell or push him away, but pulled his body closer and held him gently. No one had even held him as he cried, they only told him to shut up or ignored him. The revelation made him sob even harder.

William's hand gently began to stroke his hair, and he found it was nice to be on the receiving end of affection for once. Though they were in an awkward position that wasn't exactly comfortable.

Grell sniffed after a good five minutes, rubbing the tears from his eyes and pulling back from William's embrace.

"S-Sorry." He stuttered, curling up on the seat with his legs up. His bandages were already turning red. William only nodded and took one of Grell's arm, straightening it before cleaning the wounds. Grell looked away as all his cuts, besides those on hips and pelvis, were dressed.

"Are there anymore?" The dark-haired Shinigami asked as he finished the last ones on his upper abdomen.

"...No." William gave him a look, waiting patiently for the truth. "What, you really want me to take my underwear off?" Grell scoffed.

"Are there wounds there?"

"What do you think?" The redhead responded sarcastically with a lopsided smile.

"Then yes, I want you to remove your underwear." Grell couldn't quite believe his ears. Was he dreaming? William only ever said those things in his dreams.

The man gave him an annoyed look when he remained unresponsive.

"How many times you've stripped and presented yourself to me without my asking, and now you refuse to show yourself to me? We're both men."

"I'm a woman," Grell argued, "just not biologically."

"And who exactly put that lie in your head?" The other asked exasperatedly, rubbing his brow.

"No one. I've always been a woman." Except for when he was a child, the he'd been a girl. Duh.

William 'tch'ed and grabbed the band of Grell's underwear impatiently, yanking them down to his thighs. Grell screeched as his lower body was suddenly exposed to the man. In truth, he would have been absolutely fine with it, highly aroused even, but not when he was so low... and had the beginnings of an embarrassing erection. William took no notice of it, sitting between his legs and holding his thighs apart so he could get close.

"W-Will dear, can't-can't this wait till I'm in a better mood?" William rolled his eyes and didn't respond, staring to clean below his navel. Grell made an odd noise and gasped as the cloth graced his lower abdomen. There was a long scar there, seeming very old and reopened many times. "W-Will- s-sensitive." The redhead mewled, causing the other's cheeks to heat. He became defiantly more focused on his task, in fact he couldn't even hear Grell making odd, sultry noises. Nope, not at all.

The redhead made another sound, this one beyond impure, and William coughed.

"So, how'd you get this scar?" Grell chuckled.

"The darling Madame Red. She used me as a test subject to see if she could put a uterus back into herself." He'd been all too willing, of course.

"Did it work?" William asked, hiding his disgust.

"No, my body rejected it... It began to fester, so she had to take it out." The redhead said distantly, looking off towards the window. It had been one of the most painful things he'd ever felt, not the rotting inside of him, but the removal of the womb. Like when she had put it inside him, he was unresponsive to any kind of painkiller, but that didn't bother him. What hurt was knowing he could never have the body he wanted. He could never have a child. The wonderful madam had even planned to help rid him of his useless nether regions, and even give him breasts, but as amazing a surgeon as the woman was, every trial on unwilling recipients had failed.

William finished dressing the wounds of Grell's front and moved on to his hips, moving his leg over so his left side faced him. He was so gentle now, so careful, as if handling a real woman. The redhead smiled down at the other lovingly at the thought.

"You certainly know how to treat a lady Will dear, if only you were so gentle all the time."

"If only you would forget about that damned demon." William grumbled back. Grell chuckled.

"It seems like you have Sebas-chan on the brain more than me-ow!" Grell pouted, the other having been rather rough cleaning one of his deeper cuts. "W-Will, that hurt."

"Say that monster's name again and I'll jab my fingers into one of your wounds." The redhead looked at William curiously, slightly surprised at the sudden contrast of moods. Looked like he wasn't the only bipolar in the room.

William moved to his other hip silently, continuing the task a little faster than the first, and stood once he was done.

"Have I missed anywhere?" Grell shook his head, smiling softly, and attempted to stand slowly, only to fall straight back in the chair.

"Tch, you can't even hold yourself up you've destroyed yourself so badly." He grumbled irritably.

"Ahh!" William scooped him up, placing him up on the desk and handing him his shirt. Grell pouted, ignoring the garment as he bounced his leg slowly, black boxers hanging from his ankle. "All that and nothing? I'm in a good mood now you know." He batted his eyelashes suggestively.

"I noticed. Get dressed."

"Buuut-" William glared at him, dropping the shirt in his lap.

"The office is no place for sexual encounters." Grell pouted and slipped his long-sleeve back on.

"You sure you can't bend the rules just a little?" William looked at him with his usual blank expression, causing Grell to sigh and slip his boxers back up. Dammit, dead end again. 

"Tch, now I have to walk home like this." He mumbled to himself, assuming he had anything left to return to.

"You’re in no condition to walk, and didn't you set your house on fire?" Grell shrugged.

"Not the first time." Which was why he made his beloved dolls out of fire proof material.

William frowned, but didn't comment on the matter further.

"I'll take you to my place when I finish my shift. Till then, rest here." Grell recovered from his disbelief quickly and turned flirtatious.

"So keen, Will darling? Why the change of heart?" He already sat in his usual suggestive position on the desk, leaning back on his hands with his thighs crossed and leg bouncing slowly. William found it far more alluring now he didn't look like a cross dressing harlot.

"I have no interest in women." William said simply, returning to his work immediately.

"A-are you serious? All these years I've been trying to seduce you and all I had to do was look like a man?! Couldn't have given me a clue Will?! God, so much time wasted!" Grell collapsed back on the desk, exhausted.

"If you’re sleeping there you better not get on my work or I'll push you off."

"Such a gentleman, Will." Grell mumbled sarcastically, rolling off the other's papers. He sighed and made himself comfortable on the large desk, looking over at the other. "...Will, if I'm staying over at yours for the night," and hopefully longer, "I want one thing." The redhead said, smiling suggestively. William raised a brow.

"You’re in no position to be making demands, Suitcliff." Grell groaned.

"Two then. One, stop calling me Suitcliff! It’s so formal! Two, say you love me~" William looked at Grell indifferently. "Come on! You know you do~!"

"Then there would be no need for me to say it."

"So you admit! Ha! Come on say it!" William returned to his work, ignoring the flamboyant redhead as best he could, considering the fact he was laying atop his desk. "Why nooot? I've been waiting for you to say it ever since we met! Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting!?" William remained purely concentrated on his work. Grell groaned and let his head fall back on the desk. A bad decision as it hit rather hard.

"Ow." William’s lip twitched upwards slightly in amusement.

For a further four hours Grell lounged on William's desk, passed out for half the time period. At one point, becoming bored, he had begun playing with William's short hair, and then his own, and then William's pens. He rifled through his draws (wow somebody was OCD, even the paperclips were colour coded and had their own nook) finding an assortment of useful items and making a makeshift sling shot. William, used to the redhead’s antics, payed him no heed. He'd gladly clean the mess Grell left behind, like he always did.

The redheaded reaper was asleep again by the time William's shift was over, and he considered doing overtime, but decided against it as he already stayed later than everyone else anyway. The building was practically empty by the time he carried Grell out and to his home, which was located close by in case of emergencies (like being a minute late due to his tie coming loose on the way over. Such a disaster had occurred once before, and left him pissed off for the rest of the day. Grell caused him twice as much grief as his ties though).

Once inside the immaculately clean home, for nowhere better to put the troublesome redhead, he took him up to his room.

William laid him down carefully on the cream sheets, already thinking about how he would remove the bloodstains later. Grell gave a slight shiver, and despite his detest for sentiment, he brought the blanket up to cover him. He needed the warmth, especially since the blood loss would have brought his immune system right down. Even if Shinigami's never became seriously ill, William would prefer to avoid any complaints from Grell while he remained in his care during the time his home was being refurbished. For the thirteenth time. Thinking of which, he would need to go organize that now.

The redhead was far less of an annoyance whilst asleep, so peaceful looking with his eyelashes gracing his cheeks, now back to their natural cherry colour without that disgusting mascara. He looked much like he had when they first met, with his hair short once again. William preferred it that way.

The Shinigami leaned closer, brushing a part of Grell's red fringe from his forehead and pressing his lips to the skin gently.

"I'll never tell you," William whispered, "but you know I love you."

He then left immediately, shutting the door quietly behind him. He completely missed the cheshire grin on Grell's lips.

"Love you too, darling."

**Author's Note:**

> :D Remember to Kudos! And plz if you feel like Grell call a helpline or get in touch with someone you trust:)  
> To be clear cutting is NOT a healthy coping mechanism! Please don't follow his example!  
> (btw Williams opinion on Grell not being a woman on the inside are purely his own! Personally I fully support Grell as a she and not a he)


End file.
